It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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