i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
