Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize