Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
