I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
