Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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