Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

that's an acceptable place to lick

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(205): View more from Alabama

During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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(313): View more from Michigan

so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.

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(415): View more from California

Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.

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(254): View more from Texas

Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.

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(123): View more from

I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live

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(816): View more from Missouri

All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.

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