Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My ass is underappreciated
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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