did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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