i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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