Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
