Sry I called you an 8
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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