I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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