Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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