He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
