He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
