thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
