of course. lets lasso hookers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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