Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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