this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
