i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
