I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
