I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
