so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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