Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
