i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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