it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize