We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
