im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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