So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
