just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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