so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
