Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Found the puke drawer
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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