you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
