Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize