Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
