Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
