You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
