So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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