we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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