I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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