I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
