get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize