and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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