We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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