i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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