he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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