Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize