my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
