her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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