Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
