I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
