so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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