STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
