She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize