White coat. Heels.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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