So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
