what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
