Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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