Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
