Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
